You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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