I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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