literally had 100 drinks last night.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize