their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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