i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
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There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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