theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I need moral support for this bender
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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