all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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