I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize