Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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