I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
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I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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