This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
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I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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