i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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