Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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