fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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