Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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