and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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