Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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