can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Are we still banned from the library?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All the doctor said was why
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
