i barfeds in our rink
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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