1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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