So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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