It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
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for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
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After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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