I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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