I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize