I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
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I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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