have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
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How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
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