I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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