The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize