I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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