i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Four minutes until I can fart!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize