he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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