Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
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Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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