I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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