So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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