i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I had to cum in my sink.
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