Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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