mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize