he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize