My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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