dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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