No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize