this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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