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im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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