i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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