I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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