question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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