I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize