i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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