Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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