I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize