i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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